Shame

So it’s pretty clear that I’m a slacker when it comes to putting stuff up on this blog. Really, this is a place for me and my thoughts. I’m not in it to try and get money from advertisers, products to give away, or loads of fame and fortune. I write when I think of something. I try and document cute moments in my family’s life. I try and share struggles so that people know they’re not alone.

Today, I was reading a post from Julie, and it really struck a cord with me and I felt inspired to share something on the same topic.

She writes about the feelings of shame that we all struggle with. Sadly, I think that we DO all struggle with these, but too often we bottle them up and don’t share, resulting in people feeling like they are alone.

Julie and I are the same but different. As a kid in school, I felt shame because I was too skinny (thanks, guys who called me turkey legs). Shame because I wasn’t athletic (I was the only person cut from the 8th grade softball team). Shame because I wasn’t musically gifted (my bandmates called me squeaky, and I never got a shot at even a chorus row in the musical). Shame because I was smart, but not smart enough to fit in with the smart kids. Shame because we couldn’t afford the “in” clothes, or the “in” neighborhood. Shame because I developed late (thanks, people who called me flat as a two by four).

As life as gone on, shame has manifested itself in other ways. I feel shame that my depression got to a point where it impacted my family. I feel shame that it got to a point where it impacted my work, which impacts my family to this day. I feel shame that it is impacting the choice that I can make for my son. I feel shame that I feel like I want a second child, but would be incapable of actually raising two children.

I feel shame that I feel shame over these things. (hello, vicious cycle).

While I work to deal with my own personal issues and overcome them, know that whatever shame you feel .. someone else shares it. Do not be ashamed. You are you. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

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